As I logged into my Yahoo! account yesterday to check my very important and serious email … there were the words … bitch-slapping me across my tender cheeks:
Kim Kardashian’s Baby Bump is Showing!
[Pause … for effect.]
When my eyes finally adjusted to the message, you know what words fluttered through my delicate brain?
‘Who the f– cares!’
I mean, really. I’m not trying to be a celeb grinch or anything, but how many women become pregnant each year? I’ll tell you (yes, I actually looked this up):
In the U.S. alone, nearly 4 MILLION births take place each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And that’s births. Can you imagine how many women actually become pregnant?
So Kim Kardashian’s baby bump is showing.
(Note: NOT “Kim Kardashian’s Baby is BORN,” or “Kim Kardashian in Custody Battle”)
Hmmm. To complement this fascinating, breaking, Pulitzer-worthy story, here are some other items that made headlines on Thursday, Jan. 24:
- “Senator Unveils Bill to Limit Semiautomatic Arms,” New York Times
- “North Korea says new nuclear test will be part of fight against U.S.,” CNN.com
- “The Aftermath of an Acid Attack in Iran,” TIME Magazine
- “‘Valor knows no gender’: Pentagon lifts ban on women in combat,” NBC News
KIM KARDASHIAN’S BABY BUMP IS SHOWING!
Quick, grab the camera! Light a fire! No, sound the tornado sirens! Hell, make it a nuke warning! Close the movies, call the President … hurry, someone get me a pedicure! STAT!
Meanwhile, I demand a headline of my own: “Shari Lopatin Drives Car.”
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