Happy Holidays! And Farewell ‘Till January

Shari Lopatin

No, I’m not saying “Happy Holidays” to appease the PC Police, or to anger the “Merry Christmas” folks. I’m merely saying Happy Holidays because … well, I don’t know what you celebrate.

But whatever it is, I want it to be happy for you, because I’m a nice person. Whether you’re observing Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or just the Winter Solstice, I really, truly, honestly, sincerely, genuinely, humbly, wholeheartedly want your holiday to be filled with love, and family, and friends, and jokes, and a ton of food. Or at least, a decent meal, because I know this time of year, not everyone is doing a-okay.

Also, I hope you have a cool New Year. I’m not going to say “happy,” because of course I want it to be happy (I’m a nice person, remember?). But I also want it to be interesting, quirky, edgy, prosperous, and whatever else you’d hope a new year can be.

I’m offline now until January 2015. But if you decide you can’t take life without my weekly words of wisdom, then connect with me on Facebook and/or Twitter. I’ll post occasionally throughout these next two weeks. 

Otherwise, I hope YOU take some time away from your computer and phone these next two weeks, enjoy the holidays, and absorb life.

Your Funny Stories: ‘Santa’s Not Real?!’

Hanukkah began Tuesday night, and Christmas Eve starts Saturday. We are–indeed–in the Season!

And as promised, today’s special post consists of YOUR stories about how you learned the “truth” about Santa (remember my call for funny stories two weeks ago?). After you read the stories here, post your tale in the comments section below!

And keep the trail of hilarious tales turning:

1) “I was beginning to wonder… Is ‘HE’ real?… But, when my Mom said, ‘Just go look in the closet!’… and finding my Christmas… I was definitely deflated… my balloon had lost its air… I had asked too many times… ‘When is Santa coming?’ …and my joyful , anticipating days of  ‘Santa Claus’ had come to an end with a ‘pop!’… That special feeling of my balloon rising and floating again didn’t come again until ‘I’ became Santa for my own children…”

–Marilyn Griffin, http://babyjill7.wordpress.com/

2) “I was a young, innocent 25-year-old when I learned Santa’s not real. I remember that day as if it were this very morning. I had opened my e-mail in the desperate hope I’d wake to the wonderful news of, at least, a partial request. But instead, I found a grave disappointment waiting for me – a much beloved blog announcing, in no uncertain terms, that Santa wasn’t real! I slammed my laptop shut and rushed through the house in search of fortifying coffee. Once I had a cup safely in hand, I curled up on the kitchen floor and held onto my hope with everything I had. Santa has to be real!”

— Autumn Larrow

3) “During my kindergarten days, one of the ‘super cool’ 6th-grade girls blurted it out to me like a sucker punch in the school yard. I was crushed for a moment, until I realized how cool my parents were to play the game! All of this said, I still believe in Santa Clause … just not in the same literal way.”

— August McLaughlin, http://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/

4) On Christmas Eve our father would load us five kids into the car and drive us around Appleton, Wisconsin’s fancy neighborhoods to see all the dazzling Christmas lights. While we were out, Santa arrived. Dang! Missed him again.

A few weeks before Christmas when I was 8, we weren’t snooping, but we discovered that our father’s workshop in the basement—which was always padlocked during the holidays— was unlocked. My brother, oldest sister and I went in, and under a white sheet spread across the work bench stood my Barbie Dream House among all the other things waiting to be wrapped and signed by Santa. I opened my dream present and confirmed my suspicion. Yet, I also realized that despite our big family and modest income, our newly revealed Santas always managed, somehow, to be very generous. And that made Christmas even more special.”

— Deborah Anne Gray, Scottsdale, Arizona

5) “When I was 8 years old, I was THAT kid and totally ruined ‘Santa’ for my 3rd-grade friend! I told her that Santa didn’t exist. It devastated her. Her mom had to call my mom, and I kind of got in trouble, even though my mom secretly thought it was funny.”

— Jessica Williams, http://journalofamom.wordpress.com/

Thanks to everyone who contributed, and DON’T FORGET! Keep it going. How did you learn Santa isn’t … well, you know … and post your story to the comments below.

Happy Holidays!

Call for funny stories! ‘Santa’s not real?!’

I want to know: How did YOU learn that Santa isn’t real? What’s your story?

DON’T POST IT HERE. Keep reading, and I’ll give you the details …

I’m preparing a special blog post for the week of Christmas. It’ll be a compilation of YOUR stories, telling the world how you learned that Santa isn’t … well, you know …

How old were you? Did you cry? Did you accuse your parents of lying? Did you refuse to eat? How did you handle this immaculate revelation?

E-mail me with your story!

Please keep it to a paragraph (about 6 sentences) or less. I’m going to include as many stories as I reasonably can. It’ll be hilarious to read! 

Please send your story to s_lopatin@yahoo.com. I can’t wait to read!

OH YES: And if you have any friends who would like to share their hilarious story, send them this link and have them submit!