… it’s worse than the Zombie Apocalypse. Because with the zombies, at least you can run.
But the technology gods? They will rip every digital limb from your frail, vulnerable body. Like your computer, your phone, your email, your soul. Leaving you desolate and defenseless in the bitter cold.
That’s right. They are EVIL LORDS that deserve to BURN.
And just when your entire life hangs on a new business venture …
Your day ends up looking like this:
9:00 a.m: Get out of shower. Begin breakfast.
9:15 a.m: Drag laptop downstairs to work in kitchen.
9:30 a.m: Open Google Chrome. “Cannot access website” message appears. Check internet connection. Nothing. Moan and drag laptop upstairs to router and modem.
9:40 a.m: Troubleshoot router. No luck. Plug modem into computer. Still no luck. Curse Cox Communications.
10:00 a.m: Call Cox Communications.
11:00 a.m: Get off phone with Cox Communications. Internet working. Drag computer downstairs. Eat cold food. Scowl.
12:00 p.m: Make first sales call. Verizon phone stops working, says “out of minutes.” Wonder how that’s possible? Just switched to unlimited plan.
12:10 p.m: Can’t access new Verizon account because PIN number never sent. Call Verizon customer service.
12:30 p.m: Verizon customer service won’t help without PIN.
12:45 p.m: Scream at air. Phone rings randomly … working again? It’s Boyfriend, calling from work. Cry into phone.
1:30 p.m: Write first follow-up email. Press “send.” Doesn’t work. Try again. Doesn’t work.
2:00 p.m: Rip hair out of head and wonder how the hell I.T. people do it!!
By the way, THAT was my day, last Monday.
And it’s what will happen to you, should you ever piss off the technology gods and they all plot against you. So beware, my friends, beware …