How Did King Richard III End Up Under a Parking Lot?

If I was a king, I’d be pretty peeved if I wound up buried under a parking lot, of all places.

Then again, if I was a king, I’d be pretty peeved—period—since I’m a GIRL. Well anyway, this is exactly what happened to England’s King Richard III. In case you haven’t heard the news, scientists confirmed Monday that a skeleton they found during an archeological dig last August is, indeed, the King.

Not only that, but CNN reports how DNA extracted from the bones “was matched to Michael Ibsen, a Canadian cabinetmaker and direct descendant of Richard III’s sister, Anne of York.”

Could you imagine being that guy?

One minute, you’re sawing through wood in some remote town in Canada, and the next minute, you’re freakin’ ROYALTY.

Dude, seriously … I need some of that karma. Now.

However, should my dream ever come true and I end up as “Queen Shari,” I’d much rather decompose under a shopping mall. With cute shoes.

14 Ways to Use Duct Tape that You Never Knew Existed

So did you hear about the man who got duct-taped to his seat on an airplane?

No, this is NOT the start of a stupid joke. It really happened … in Iceland. Seriously:

Which got me thinking about the numerous ways we can use duct tape. Like, for instance, back in high school, the battery to my portable brick—a.k.a. cell phone—fell off. Rather than buying a new one, I just duct-taped it back together and walked around like that ’till college.

Because I’m just that cool.

So here are 14 uses for duct tape that I bet you NEVER even knew existed:

  1. Wallpaper
  2. Household bug trap
  3. Cheap Frisbee
  4. Do-it-yourself bikini wax
  5. Band Aid
  6. Nail polish remover
  7. Car parts adhesive
  8. Fat reducing body shaper
  9. Handmade tug-of-war rope
  10. Lipstick substitute (seriously, try it!)
  11. A ball to amuse your cats
  12. Nose-pore cleaner
  13. Tin Man Halloween costume
  14. And finally … silencer for that “God, shoot me now!” annoying-as-hell coworker

So tell me, what are some ways YOU use the ever-beloved duct tape?