The Secret to Getting Treated Like Royalty … FOR ONCE


If you’re freakin’ tired of being pushed around by your boss, or spouse, or just life in general, then you could use a little royal treatment. Right?!

So … if you wanna get treated like royalty for once, become a juror.

Oh, you think I’m kidding?

I just had my FIRST jury duty experience this week. Ever.

I was prepared to be spat upon, emotionally molested, and convicted of indecent exposure by nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

Then, of course, I reminded myself that I wasn’t on trial. This tends to happen with neurotic, overactive imaginations like mine. You get a tummy ache, and it’s automatically cancer, accompanied by imminent death.

But back to this whole jury thing …

30-Rock-Jury-duty

I finally read the back of my summons the night before my scheduled doom. And, to my pleasant surprise, I learned that jurors are the judicial equivalent to the Queen of England.

Seriously. First off, the courts opened 15 minutes early, JUST for the jurors. The security guards literally unlocked the doors, scanned the numerous desperate faces begging for relief from the bitter cold, then announced a special entry for “Jurors Only!”

All other infidels would need to remain locked outside, on the unforgiving concrete, until 8:00 a.m.

Upon entry into the palace, I learned that jurors are allowed:

  • Validation for free parking
  • Complimentary coffee
  • A breakroom and fridge JUST FOR THEM
  • Breaks any time they want
  • To bring their own food

That last item, that’s the killer part. Because no one else is allowed to bring their own food. Not police, not witnesses, not even lawyers. Only the jurors.

Should you happen to enter with a lunch box in your hand, the security guards will part ways and announce,

“Here comes the juror! Let him pass!”

royal-welcome-party

They even gave us a movie theatre.

And they didn’t play those crappy airplane movies, either. They showed Oscar-nominated films, people! From directors like Cameron Crowe and John Madden.

Oh yea, and did I mention how we got a personalized welcome from a JUDGE?

I think the next time I’m suffering from lack of self-esteem, I’m gonna show up at court and beg to be a juror. Because sometimes, we all just need a vacation.

18 thoughts on “The Secret to Getting Treated Like Royalty … FOR ONCE

  1. At my jury location (in an upscale town near mine, but not mine!), we jurors got everything you mentioned above, and they bought us a very nice lunch! They let us go out for a couple of hours in the morning, while the judge negotiated with attorneys in other cases. After years of wanting to avoid jury duty, I can’t wait to be called again.

    I think the trick is selecting a good location. We’re allowed to do that in our state, if you have a good reason. And I do . . . 😉

    Hey, wait a minute. We didn’t get a movie! I’m gonna have to protest.

    Like

  2. Oh, if only we all had that same perspective on jury duty! Although, the last time I was called for jury duty the juror room just had a TV with a news station on. Also, it’s a day off of work! 😉

    Like

  3. So……Im now looking forward to my April 8th Jury stint. Of course….u went to Superior Court. I will be at lowly Regional Court where ya know…they try those boring civil cases and lowly misdemeanors. But…hey….maybe they will show us B movies and cartoons!

    Like

      1. no worries. Glad you seemed to enjoy your jury duty. The people I’ve met that have been called have all dreaded it.

        Nice blog btw! I’m going to follow along. Hope you’ll check out my blog too 🙂

        Like

  4. Ugh! Jury duty…I’ve been summoned twice and been selected TWICE. Each trial at least a week long and the second of which the man we convicted tried to rush the jury box and get us. Mercy…

    Like

    1. So sorry I’m so late on my reply. Just now have time to get caught up on comments. 🙂 So sorry your experience has been a little different. LOL! Maybe you’re set for the next decade, now. 😉

      Like

C'mon, you MUST be thinking something.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s