For some people, death or a breakup will send them into a fit of depression. For me, it’s lobsters.
And not just any lobsters … the lobsters at Red Lobster.
I mean, have you ever really LOOKED at them? With the giant glass case and the bubbles trickling toward the top. And their claws bound together, with blue-and-pink-and-yellow rubber bands.
Just sitting there, waiting to be boiled to death.
What kind of way is that to die?
If I was a lobster at Red Lobster, I’d probably kill myself, first.
And so, as I sat there that Friday night—waiting for the hostess to call my name—I just became SO DEPRESSED.
I thought about, as a kid, how the lobsters used to excite me. I’d get all ADHD on my parents, screaming about “the lobsters! the lobsters!” But that was before I really knew.
And then, I had probably worst conversation in the HISTORY of conversations, with my mother.
It kinda went something like this:
Me: “Do you think the lobsters know?”
My mom: “Know what?”
Me: “You know.”
My mom: “Shari, I really don’t want to talk about the lobsters.”
I’m just so glad I don’t like lobster. I ordered chicken that night. And it’s probably a good thing I don’t live in some remote, Yiddish town in Russia.
Because I’d be seriously screwed.
[P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!]
Shari Lopatin 
So sad!…
actually I have to blank out any meat processing…or I would go vegan…still might!
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Shari…….
You ate chicken that night…..d
o you think the chicken just fell into your plate? It was butchered and cooked! The only difference is you didnt see it! OY! lol
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FYI : there are NO Yiddish towns in Russia. Sorry to break your bubble.
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Hi, Victoria. I must admit, I’ve never been to Russia, so I could be mistaken, no doubt! I mentioned the “small Yiddish towns in Russia” because my boyfriend worked with a Russian immigrant from such a place only a few years ago. She had an old family recipe for Challah.
Plus, my entire family came from a small, Yiddish town in Russia, a couple of generations ago (Fiddler On The Roof style). So that’s why I said it.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
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Shari, in remote Yiddish town in Russia, you would be lucky if you could get a chicken, forget lobsters…. by the way I love how they taste, sorry. Happy V-day to you too!
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LOL! Touche, Ariana.
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Must say that yours is a reflection I made too, several times.
I ‘m sure I would never” boil” lobsters myself, but then,when I happened to have them in my dish , (already boiled)….. I was vile and ate some……..
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The ever-present inner struggle. 😉 Thanks for reading and commenting!
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