Colon Hydrotherapy in Your Backyard


The light couldn’t turn green fast enough as I sat in my car, jaw clenched in horror, staring at the awkward, hand-painted sign protruding from the side of the road.

Google images

“Colon hydrotherapy in your backyard. Call . . .”

I took a mental note of that number–to avoid it at all costs. Only in my neighborhood.

First of all, I don’t know too much about colon hydrotherapy, or exactly how it works. And I’m a health writer.

But the thought of learning the answer to those questions–in my own backyard, nonetheless–was enough to keep me awake in fear for the next few nights. By the end of the week, the sign was gone. Gee, I wonder why?

I began contemplating then. Does one need a license to perform such an immaculate procedure? Perhaps, should something of this nature be executed in the sterile confounds of–say–a medical clinic?

Apparently, no. At least in Laveen, Ariz.

Don’t look far for writing ideas

I’ve often come across individuals who believe they have no solid material for good writing. After all, they haven’t traveled the world and lived among the Aborigines.

However, some of our best ideas come from within, or right next door. I live a seemingly uneventful life to anyone who knows me:

Car, house, cat, boyfriend, 9-5 job. Yada yada yada.

But, I live in a neighborhood where the local pre-teens play a solid game of streetball Sunday afternoon, while my cowboy neighbors click-clock down my block on their horses. And, the company with whom I share the confines of a vicinity feel the need to advertise their colon hydrotherapy services on the side of the road.

Hmmm. If I were Larry David, I’d have the premise for my next Seinfeld episode.

When it all boils down, the best writers are those who OBSERVE their surroundings. What do you observe, and how has it helped your writing?

27 thoughts on “Colon Hydrotherapy in Your Backyard

  1. The sad part is how readily I can imagine seeing that same sign on a nearby street. Guess there isn’t that much difference between MI & AZ. Streetball: check. Horses: check. Colonic irrigation: RUN AWAY!! Thanks for the best laugh of my day. And you’re right — this begs a chapter in someone’s book, or an episode in someone’s show. Soon.

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  2. I just need to look up from the keyboard. Usually there is something strange going on. Not sure how to put it in my food blog but I like the idea of combining food with the absurd.

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    1. Hi Joy,

      Thanks for stopping by. I think there is much you can do by combining food with the absurd, and it would be absolutely hilarious! I laugh out loud just thinking of it. How about personifying a potato? Or do you notice a certain type of people eat only a certain type of food (cops and the donuts would be a cliche example)? What about combining non-traditional dishes with traditional foods of another culture?

      So much to think about. 🙂 I’d love to read some when you create it! I’ll definitely swing by your food blog and see what you’re chatting about (since I’m a foodie myself).

      Shari

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  3. Great post, Shari. Ideas abound around us for sure – if we only take the time to open our eyes and see them. When I read the headline for your post, aside from chuckling, I thought you were going to give us a grammar lesson. Because, clearly, this company’s PR/marketing guy or gal “missed the boat” with the “right in your backyard” cliche. I envisioned the procedures being done as you lay on the hammock in your own back yard, which you alluded to as well. ICK. Sometimes I fear for the future of the written word … when I see billboards with misspellings, haunting signs like the one you mention, and even grammatically incorrect captions on televisions shows. But then I guess THAT is another post, entirely! Thanks for the chuckle.

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  4. With all that goes on just down the street, it’s hard to imagine why we need televisions. Enjoyed this effort from you, as always. I love how you can question someones’s access to their personal light switch, without being mean. I try and pay attention to the stuff that comes at me from out of the blue, like how I just realized that a friend’s son, who is Lebenese, is marrying a woman who is Jewish; and that there must be a wedding poem for them some where.

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    1. I second that statement (about not needing TVs)! Thank you for your kind words! They mean a lot. I LOVE finding the humor in things, but I also don’t believe in being mean about it. So, I’m very glad to know my writing reflects that, coming from a reader. I think it’s awesome that your friend’s son is Lebenese and marrying a Jewish woman. I’d love to see more of that intercultural understanding between the two regions. I think you might have yourself a funny, quirky narrative with that one! 🙂

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  5. Boy, this headline really grabbed my attention!

    I think I’ll try to spice up my mundane existence because you reminded me that Larry David, who frankly I can’t stand to watch, apparently writes stuff that others want to watch?!! So, I’ll wax philosophical about the Cream of Wheat I had for brkfst!

    You rock as usual!
    N

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    1. Thank you! I’m so glad I caught your attention with this one. It definitely seemed to garner a large response. LOL! I always encourage writers to spice up their style a bit–add some spunk–but also be careful not to lose your personal voice while doing so. That voice is what makes YOUR writing unique to YOU, and you never want to lose that. But I think if you can find it in yourself to be humorous, that always adds so much to a story or blog post.

      I really like the topics you write about on your blog, too, by the way. So spice it up if you want, but don’t completely change your style! 🙂

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  6. Yes, I do can only write from my surroundings… I actually don’t know how to write under pressure (like when I’m being paid or under a deadline). I like to write when I want to really share something with other people.
    Thumbs up to all you great writers ^_^!

    PS: Colon hydrotherapy… you could ‘at least’ go there to check it out ;P… for observational purposes of course, lol

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    1. Hi Hanna,

      I can’t handle the sight of blood, much less an observation of colon hydrotherapy in action. 😉 Would make for a great follow-up blog though!

      Keep writing for the love of it, and to share with others! Me personally, I seem to never FINISH anything unless I’m given a deadline. LOL! Funny how that works differently for everyone.

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    1. Thank you Blake! That is SUCH a compliment! I am very happy to know you’ve found my posts, ever since the Chicken Nugget one, to be entertaining enough to stick around. I hate reading boring stuff, so I aim to make mine fun, but also somewhat educational.

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  7. Too funny. Colon hydrotherapy beats the vasectomy reversal billboards we have here. I don’t even want to know what colon hydrotherapy is. But probably it’s not nearly as bad as what I’m envisioning.

    I try to observe my surroundings, but I have trouble noticing. Busy-ness gets hold of me everyday and I don’t take the time to see things. I tend to write about things that happened years ago because it’s easier to notice details in my memory.

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    1. Vasectomy reversal billboards. I LOVE it! Hahaha! I totally understand about getting busy, especially when you’re so closely involved in your family and children’s education. What’s helped me is the ability to have a “pow wow” buddy who can notice things WITH me and find the humor in them. That individual happens to be my boyfriend, Oscar. He was actually in the car with me when I saw this sign, and we began laughing hysterically about it. I probably wouldn’t notice as much without him to help me.

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  8. I actually met a colon hydrotherapist while I was in advertising and I must say she made it sound more relaxed than what you would expect…When she explained the benefits and the way it detoxes your body, nothing wrong with that…but the idea of the backyard involved in what you observed, no thanks!

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  9. Hey Shari,
    Life is filled with so many every day absurdities that I don’t have the time to write them all down! You are right, just have a peekaboo at your local area, even the shopping centre… my post before last was on the advertisements from the local video library… just like the sign in your neighborhood… you really don’t have to visit exotic locales, mingle with foreign folk or partake of distant pleasures to obtain material… just take a walk down your street!

    I enjoy your weekly writing and insights. Thanks

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    1. Thank you so much! That means a lot! You’ve intrigued me to read your post on the advertisements from the local video library. Ha! It’s really late right now, but I will definitely swing by in another day or so and check it out! Very curious what YOU observed. 🙂

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  10. I should have known you’d be a Larry David fan too. It’s so funny how many things that happen in life, Bryan (my husband) and I say, “that’s a Curb episode.” They are the tiniest things that end up being huge things. Great idea to use them as a blog post too.

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    1. Oh gosh, my boyfriend (Oscar) and I are some of the BIGGEST Larry David fans. We love Curb! I actually own Season 7–which is the one and only Seinfeld reunion. Have you seen it?

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Leah! I agree. It’s the tiniest things in life that end up being the best and biggest ideas. 🙂

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  11. Still laughing at this!! Your point is well made, for it is only by observation that new ideas are born! To be aware of your surroundings- whatever they may be, just might lead you to something great! Tell me more about being confident enough to share your writing with others, from blogging to creative works! We all need more confidence!

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    1. Hahaha! Thanks Megan! I was laughing out loud writing this too. Fun topic . . .

      Thanks for reading my post! I believe it takes time to build confidence to find your own personal voice as a writer (whether as a blogger, journalist, or novelist). But here’s the key: don’t be afraid to try new things. Put it out there. And if it fails, oh well! Now you know better for next time. Just be yourself when you write, and you’ll find the confidence builds real quickly!

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C'mon, you MUST be thinking something.

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