Death to the Spoon Gnomes!

20 May

Is it just me, or do microscopic gnomes sneak into your kitchen at night … and steal all your spoons?

Because each time I clean my dishes, or open my kitchen drawer, I find less and less of this very necessary utensil. Not only does this happen to me, but my boyfriend suffers as well. He quietly revealed to me last week that all his spoons have been disappearing, mysteriously.

I feel like whipping out my old, investigative reporter hat, and following the clues. Because this question is driving me berserk:

What happened to all the spoons?


After nights of lost sleep and cortisol-filled panic attacks, I’ve come to one, discernible answer.

It was the gnomes. 

The evil spoon gnomes. And they all must DIE.

How dare they sneak into my house, without my permission, and take my hard-earned silverware while I’m asleep! They fool the cats, they trick the dog.

But worst of all, when the spoon gnomes strike, you can’t sip soup. Or eat cereal.

Or consume ice-cream.


So, my friends, I implore you. Spoon-lovers of the world unite! And death to the spoon gnomes!

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7 Responses to “Death to the Spoon Gnomes!”

  1. Mr. Obear May 29, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

    They’ve also taken my underwear.

  2. kennamckinnon May 26, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

    hahah, this is very good, my soup spoons go missing, and they’re the only ones. I love my soup spoons and that dreadful evil rabbit has been stealing them to bend them into ploughshares for Mr. McGregor’s garden.

  3. myschief May 21, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    I don’t have spoon gnomes, but pen gnomes! The pens either disappear from my cup or the ones in the cup don’t work. ;-)

    • Shari Lopatin May 21, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

      I TOTALLY had pen gnomes when I worked as a server in college! They’re horrid, I tell you! ;-)

  4. stacylynngittleman May 21, 2013 at 5:42 am #

    Seriously! They struck at my house too this morning. I went to have breakfast (some cereal, yogurt) with the kids this morning and — NO clean spoons! I think the spoon gnome hangs out with the Tupperware Troll, the creature that leaves one’s cabinets filled with containers but shrunken and mismatched lids. Very Funny!

    • Shari Lopatin May 21, 2013 at 8:24 am #

      The Tupperware Troll! Haha! I love it!

      I am so sorry to hear you have become a victim, too. For shame.

C'mon, you MUST be thinking something.

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